Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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