You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
