she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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