Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
