Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize