Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
