this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
