Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
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