I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
