I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
