this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
