Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize