Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
from now on my penis is your penis
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize