Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
