I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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