I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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