3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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