did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
is wine microwaveable?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
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Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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