Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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