She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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