After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
