Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize