Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
