Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
