apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
