hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
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Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Semen is not good for contacts.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
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Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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