Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
