porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
