Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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