i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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