Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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