3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize