How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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