what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
