You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
