Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
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I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
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The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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