Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
