I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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