I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My liver just had a heart attack.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
