Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
