so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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