I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize