is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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