Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
