Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
