It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
