Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
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I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
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Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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