I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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