Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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