Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
