i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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