She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
