I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
