She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
