she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
