I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
