I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Nicole vs. Life
My brain says no but my pants say off.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Randomize
