Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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