My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
