I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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