Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
