you turned your livingroom into a bong?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i now understand why vodka
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
A+ Viking dick
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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