So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
