it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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