you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
