She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
