he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
