I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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